


Possess

by fiercynn



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Character of Color, Class Issues, F/F, Female Character of Color, First Time, Possessive Behavior, Romance, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-19
Updated: 2010-07-19
Packaged: 2017-10-10 16:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiercynn/pseuds/fiercynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana had met many haughty, arrogant, selfish nobles in her life, but none so tiresome as Lord Jevan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theonlytwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonlytwin/gifts).



> Written for femslash09, originally posted [here](http://fiercynn.livejournal.com/48800.html). Thanks to slylilgoblin for the beta!

Morgana had met many haughty, arrogant, selfish nobles in her life, but none so tiresome as Lord Jevan.

He was visiting Camelot for only a short time – relatively, at least, since the three weeks could very easily have been three months – for the Midsummer celebrations, but now that the festivities were over and the normal routine had resumed in court, Morgana had to spend far too much time with him for her own sanity. He seemed to require constant attentions from everyone – servants to indulge his every whim, noblemen to challenge to friendly duels and contests that kept the knights from their training and others from their ordinary business, and ladies to listen to his boasting when he actually won. Even Arthur, who was spared most of his company, was beginning to complain about him in private.

"You could challenge him to a duel," Gwen suggested one evening after Morgana had been forced to sit next to Lord Jevan through all six courses of dinner.

"Uther would have my head," Morgana said dryly. "Lord Jevan is far too influential to offend." She sighed. "I wish he'd do me the favor of laying out the challenge. I must be the only one in Camelot who would welcome it, and he will soon run out of the men."

"From what I hear from the maids who serve him, he'll likely circle back to the beginning rather than treat a woman like an equal," Gwen told her.

"In that case, you will just have to do your best to save me from his company, Gwen."

Gwen gave her an impish grin. "How shall I do that? Spill wine on you as Merlin does whenever Arthur wants to get out of something?"

"Is that why he does it? I knew Merlin wasn't actually that clumsy," Morgana sighed. "But no, I don't think I can have you ruining your reputation as the best maid in the castle. You will simply have to invent ridiculous emergencies that I will absolutely _have_ to see to."

Gwen put on a worried expression, eyes wide and earnest. "Oh, my lady, I'm afraid another maid has mixed up your washing with Lady Avoca's and I cannot confront her ladyship about it myself. Please, Lady Morgana, it is quite urgent!"

Morgana laughed, gazing fondly at Gwen, as Gwen's expression slipped and she giggled as well. Lord Jevan be damned, but Morgana could forget about him when there were better things to see and nicer things to wish for, no matter how unreachable each wish.

*

Morgana wasn't laughing when Uther had to ask her a favor regarding Jevan.

"The maid who served him as apparently fallen ill," he told her, shuffling idly between the papers that lay on his table. "I had Gaius look at her and even when she becomes fit for work again, I am afraid she would spread the malady to Lord Jevan. With so many guests in the castle, you will have to lend him your maid, Morgana."

Morgana clenched her fists underneath the table where the king could not see them. "My lord, I cannot spare Gwen on such short notice," she protested, thinking rapidly of some excuse.

Uther did not give her time to come up with anything. "Come now, Morgana, surely your maid will be perfectly capable of tending to both of you," he said decidedly before turning to a knight with another matter. Morgana tried to catch his attention again but he waved her off, and, resigned, she broke the news to Gwen.

"I suppose it's only fair after you've been forced to keep company with him all this time," Gwen said, smiling.

"I've only had to pretend to listen to him, not obey his orders," Morgana said. "If he mistreats you, let me know right away. I will not stand for it."

"I'll be fine, Morgana," Gwen assured her. "None of the others complained about anything more than insults on his part." Which didn't settle Morgana's nerves entirely, but there seemed to be nothing more she could do.

*

Things were fine for a few days – Morgana tolerated the man as she had been doing, and if she disliked Gwen's more frequent absences, well, that wasn't only because of Jevan. But she managed to occupy her time by picking more fights with Arthur and scolding Merlin more for listening to him so much, and imagining all the ways that she would defeat Jevan if he ever had the decency to take her on.

But apparently Gwen was prettier and sweeter than any of the other maids that had served Jevan. Not difficult to believe, of course, but too dangerous for Morgana's liking, because the next time Gwen came in after serving Lord Jevan she was subdued and withdrawn.

"What is it, Gwen?" Morgana immediately, searching for signs of any kind of abuse. "Did he hurt you?" That loathsome man, he wouldn't get away with this –

"No, my lady," Gwen said quietly. "Not as such."

And Morgana didn't want to understand the implication in that because if she had wanted to fight Jevan before, it was nothing compared to this, the way her blood boiled beneath her skin at the very thought of – of him – "What do you mean, Gwen?"

Gwen swallowed, turning away a little as if to hide it from Morgana. "He made it very clear that – that my services towards him were insufficient, and that it would be risky for me to continue this way without performing more tasks for him."

Morgana moved for the door at that, wild and angry, and Gwen flew to her, catching her by the arm. "Morgana, what are you –"

"You said I should challenge him," Morgana reminded her, trying unsuccessfully to pull her arm away.

"Morgana, I was joking – you can't! _Please_," said Gwen desperately, and Morgana had to stop at the unhappiness in her voice. "You cannot risk yourself on my behalf."

"Gwen, I will not let him –"

"There is no need –"

"You can't stop me," Morgana told her grimly. "Not unless you desire his attentions."

Gwen looked for a moment as if she were about to agree just to stop Morgana from acting, but Morgana would have been able to tell that it was a lie, and she was fairly sure that wasn't just wishful thinking. "Of course not," Gwen said finally. "And I know I can't stop you from doing what you think you must do. But please – my lady, promise me that whatever you do, it will not be putting yourself in danger at all."

"Gwen –"

"_Promise_," Gwen insisted.

"Yes, I promise," Morgana said, and Gwen searched her eyes for the truth before finding it and letting go. She would not break the promise, no; but what Gwen did not understand was that danger for her was nothing near danger for Morgana in her position of influence. That was the way of the court, and even though Morgana was often trapped in it herself, there were some ways that she could get things done.

*

Morgana did not even need to address the topic herself; Jevan as good as brought it up at the next banquet.

"I must thank you for letting me borrow your maid," he murmured to Morgana after Gwen had briefly come over to where they were standing to refill their goblets. "She is quite adequate at her duties."

_Adequate_, thought Morgana heatedly, resisting the urge to punch him in the eye.

"But I find she is not attentive enough for my needs," continued Jevan obliviously. "Perhaps you can instruct her in the ways of properly serving noblemen? I'm sure you would not want her to be disobedient." He leered, and Morgana wondered at his gall in actually _talking_ to her about this, but she was almost glad because it gave her the opening she wanted.

"I'm afraid she would not see it as disobedience, my lord," she said. "I've always insisted that my maid preserve her natural modesty, as it could keep her from her duties towards _me_. It is a matter of discipline, you see."

Jevan blinked, unused to being argued with, even by Morgana who had mostly kept herself in check throughout his visit. "The firm hand you keep on your maid is admirable, Lady Morgana," he said finally. "But surely what she does in her spare time is not your concern."

Which was taken for granted in the court, Morgana knew, and it always had been, though it did not mean that Gwen's time was her own. She was merely a possession to be tossed around by whichever nobles could get their hands on her, and it made Morgana furious to even think about it, a form of slavery even beyond the political marriage she knew lay somewhere in her own future.

Morgana could have gotten Arthur to help here; he would have done it for both Morgana and Gwen, and his word would have more power behind it. But Morgana felt a kind of twisted satisfaction rise up in her at the idea of taking responsibility herself; a chance to stand up to this despicable man, yes, but also a chance to voice the words that she could have said over, and over, even if they were a hollow façade.

"Indeed, sir, it is entirely my concern," she said, watching Jevan's face grow confused.

"My lady…?"

"Lord Jevan, Guinevere was a gift to me many years ago, and she has always – _obliged_ me in whatever way I wish. It would be tiresome to train a new servant for my needs. Surely you are not so very particular?"

Jevan looked startled and annoyed still, but Morgana did have enough strength behind her word, even as a woman, to win this battle. "Of course not, Lady Morgana," he said finally, giving a short bow.

"Thank you," said Morgana sweetly, inclining her head; and turned away, feeling sick to speak of Gwen in this way.

*

Morgana had hoped that Jevan would be too embarrassed by rejection to spread the news around, but no, he was clearly too thick-skinned and too malicious to see it that way. The next day, Arthur was the first to barge into her room, even before Gwen had arrived for the morning, to demand what the hell she thought she was doing.

"Arthur," said Morgana uselessly, but he continued to rave on without seeming to need any response from Morgana, so she let him go for a while until she realized that the gist of his ranting was less _what the hell do you think you're doing_ and more along the lines of _why didn't you tell me?_

"Arthur, you idiot," she finally interrupted, "I'm not sleeping with Gwen, alright?"

He stopped abruptly. "What? But Jevan said – was he lying? That bastard, the way he chose to hint at it was repulsive enough –"

"Surprisingly, he wasn't lying either. I made him think that Gwen was my maidservant in more ways than she is."

"But _why?_"

"He had designs on her," Morgana said bluntly, knowing that he would understand. "I didn't know what other way to repel him."

"You could have come to me," Arthur said, bristling. "I will speak to him –"

"_No_, Arthur," Morgana insisted. "Have you thought of what that would mean for Gwen? To be known as the prince's favorite puts her in a dangerous position with the other servants, whether you imply that she warms your bed or not. Will you protect every servant that a noble takes advantage of? _Can_ you?"

Arthur was taken aback. "I suppose not," he said finally. "But Gwen –"

"Is my servant," Morgana told him. "If she does not belong to me, Jevan at least would think of her so." She crooked a small grin at him. "You can do the same thing for Merlin if the situation ever arises," and Arthur flushed a little, opening his mouth to reply as Gwen stormed into the room.

Morgana turned to her, not knowing what Gwen's reaction would be, but she certainly wasn't expecting abject rage. Her heart sank. Of _course_ \- she had been so righteously lecturing Arthur about not thinking of Gwen's side of it, but she hadn't properly considered what her own actions would mean for Gwen. While being Morgana's favorite might not have the same dangers attached to it, how would Gwen feel at all relieved by rumors that she lay with another woman?

"_Morgana_," said Gwen, eyes flashing.

Oh, that was not a good tone of voice. Morgana swallowed hard. "I assume you've heard? May I ask how exactly the rumor was spread?"

"Er, I may have yelled at Merlin about it for a bit," Arthur put in sheepishly. Morgana scowled at him and he began to back away, looking between the two of them. "I'll just be leaving, then."

Gwen ignored him. "It doesn't really matter how I know, Morgana, the point is that the news has spread at all. And you know it will go around the castle like wildfire." She looked anxious as well as furious, and Morgana couldn't blame her, really; she had always prided herself on being more than just a selfish noble who put herself first, someone who could understand and anticipate consequences that she would never have to face. But the truth was that even if her intentions had been good, she had not realized what the risks were for Gwen, and she had indulged her own disgraceful wishes when there were so many other ways she could have gone about it.

But even though Gwen was right to be scared and more than right to hate her for it, this was too difficult to listen to, and if Morgana was guilty of one of the nobles' sins she may as well take that selfishness all the way. "I did what I had to," she said, willing Gwen not to say any more, not when it hurt this much; even to make her angrier might help because then she might stop talking. "Anyway, rumors are nothing compared to what could have happened if I hadn't spoken."

"I know that, but Morgana, you promised –"

Morgana didn't recall promising not to imply that Gwen was her bed-warmer, but even right now she couldn't be flip enough to say that. "Enough," she said instead, bleak and trying to hide it. "What's done is done. I think you should get on with your tasks for the day, Guinevere."

Gwen shut her mouth, glaring at her in such a way that Morgana couldn't look at it anymore. She left the room, almost running smack into Arthur after she had shut the door behind her.

"Were you listening that whole time?" she demanded, flushing.

Arthur didn't bother to answer, looking at her speculatively. Try as she might to keep things from him, Arthur knew her better than anyone else in the world, even Gwen, and sometimes that insight felt dangerous. "There's a reason you're so upset about this, isn't there," he said. "A reason besides Jevan himself."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, starting down the hall.

"Morgana, Gwen will forgive you anything," Arthur said, and she stopped and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Maybe," she replied eventually. "But she shouldn't, and that will not go away." She walked off before he could say anything more, because even if he knew her to the core, she doubted that anything he said could help.

*

Morgana avoided Gwen all day, but there was another feast in the evening and she needed help lacing up the midnight-blue gown Gwen had pressed for her the previous day. When she returned to her room, Gwen had finished her chores and was merely standing by the window, staring off into the distance. She turned at Morgana's entrance, opening her mouth to say something before Morgana said, "Fetch my dress, will you?"

Gwen's face shut down and Morgana almost regretted the words, but she did not know how to take them back as Gwen brought the dress. They were both silent as Morgana dressed, and the tension between them almost made Morgana forget about the reason until Gwen's fingers were doing the laces, brushing against her back so gently that Morgana felt disgusted with herself all over again.

That was another problem, wasn't it – making things this awkward with Gwen. Surely that was not worth a fleeting moment of satisfaction and pretense, but Morgana had not thought that far ahead.

Gwen finished the dress and began working on her hair, smooth and easy despite their problems. She had almost finished when Morgana could help it no longer, words tumbling out of her mouth because she could try to fix one thing if not the other: "I'm sorry."

Gwen's hands stilled. "Morgana –"

"I'm so sorry," Morgana repeated, helpless. "I never wanted to shame you."

"I – what? Shame? How on earth have you _shamed_ me?" said Gwen, astonished, and Morgana looked up at her quickly with a look of equal bewilderment, just as some guard knocked on the door and called for Morgana to come to the feast right away.

Morgana tried not to think about the look on Gwen's face as they hurried down the halls, and made herself stop wondering because she knew they could not talk about this now. They entered the feast hall and Morgana looked around for someone, anyone she could talk to that would be distracting, anyone except –

"Lady Morgana," Lord Jevan said with an insufferable smirk. "And how are you today?"

Morgana curtseyed, hating him more than ever. "Very well, my lord, and you?"

She kept up with the small-talk as best she could; Jevan didn't dare bring up Gwen so directly again, but she saw what Arthur meant now about his loathsome hinting. And even twenty minutes, her skin couldn't stop tingling at the need to talk to leave, to talk to Gwen, to make her apologies properly and figure out why in the world Gwen hadn't been mad for that reason, and to discern where Gwen's anger lay so that she could fix that, too. But there was no way to get out of this.

Unless –

"My lady?" said Gwen's voice tentatively from behind her.

"Yes, Gwen?" she said, not knowing what to do as Gwen came to her side. Lord Jevan looked between them, leering, but also perhaps skeptical, and Gwen put a hand on Morgana's arm.

"There's a problem," Gwen said, looking up at her with soft, warm eyes, and Morgana hated this pretense even more, making Gwen play it up for everyone. At least Gwen had probably forgiven her, but as Morgana told Arthur – she _shouldn't_. "Your washing got mixed up with Lady Avoca's, and I dare not tell her about it myself – I need –"

"Go on, Lady Morgana," Lord Jevan interrupted as Morgana gaped at Gwen's words. "I see your maid is in need of you. We cannot have that, can we?"

"No, I certainly cannot – but I don't see where you come into it, my lord," she retorted, and before he could reply she was pulling Gwen out of the room with her.

*

They made it back to Morgana's chambers before Morgana turned to Gwen and snapped, "What was that about?"

"He needed to believe you weren't lying," Gwen said, as if it were obvious, glaring right back at her. "And we needed to talk."

"You still didn't have to do that," Morgana said, moving across the room to sit on her bed because she needed some kind of support after this day.

Gwen followed, saying, "I did what I had to," Morgana's own words echoing back at her. "And Morgana, what the hell did you mean about shaming me? Is that why you think I'm angry?"

"What else would –"

"You protected me by standing up to Lord Jevan even though he's only here for a few more days, and you tarnished your own name in doing so. I cannot even begin to – you shouldn't have done this for me, my lady. You promised me, and that's what made me upset." Her eyes were distressed and pleading, somehow, worrying away even more, and Morgana could not let Gwen take on her troubles as well, not like _this_.

"I have enough to protect me so that I need not worry about my name," Morgana said. "Uther might be mad, but he still needs me to make a good marriage, and anyone he chooses would need the king's favor too much to argue. But you – it could ruin your reputation, to be known as something so – I can't stand the idea of you feeling disgusted with the way people think of you, Gwen, and for that I'm sorry."

Gwen was silent for a moment, her eyes shadowed as she looked at her hands crossed over each other. "I don't feel disgusted," she said quietly.

"Then you don't understand what it means to be known as something unnatural," Morgana told her, something rising up inside her that wanted to make Gwen realize why she should be angry, realize Morgana's terrible feelings for her so that she could push them away and hate them, because maybe even that would be easier than this uncertainty. "Or that by saying you're mine, I've made you into a possession again, something to be owned instead of a proper person."

"Please," Gwen whispered, not meeting her eyes, "stop, Morgana. I know you don't feel that way –"

"And you're not, Gwen," Morgana couldn't help but press on, needing her to know. "You don't _belong_ to anyone. Not even me."

Gwen's fingers seemed to be clenching into each other now, and Morgana couldn't make herself look away no matter how much it hurt. Not until Gwen looked up suddenly, surprise and confusion in her face. "Even?"

"What?" Morgana managed.

"Not even you?" Gwen asked, frowning.

"Not me. Not anyone," Morgana repeated, feeling a little dizzy.

Gwen stared at her, gaze almost frightening because she could no doubt see the way that Morgana was trembling a little, and her eyes were too clever and sharp to miss something like this, even when it was woven into an apology.

"Oh, Morgana," Gwen said, something in breaking away in her voice that had Morgana shaking even harder, "but I _do_," and her fingers had unclenched and she was standing, moving towards Morgana, close but still unreachable until that hand was on Morgana's neck and Gwen was kissing her, sweet and impossible and perfect.

Morgana pulled back, barely able to keep away from Gwen's mouth. "Gwen?"

"You're a fool, my lady," Gwen told her, other hand interlacing with Morgana's now, and Morgana couldn't help but give a hiccupping laugh, letting herself have this no matter how unbelievable it seemed.

Gwen kissed her again, leaning over Morgana until she made a helpless noise and pulled Gwen into her lap. Gwen was soft and warm and _lovely_, eyes shining as Morgana broke away to kiss down her neck, and when her breath hitched Morgana was flooded with desire all over again. Gwen's fingers were at the back of her dress now, expertly unlacing until she reached Morgana's bare skin and pushed her back onto the sheets.

"Gwen –" Morgana started again, but Gwen silenced her with another kiss.

She managed to draw Morgana's gown down and off her, and took a moment to undress herself as Morgana watched her, breathing hard. Gwen was even more beautiful like this, not only unclothed but free in a way that Morgana had never seen before, and determined in a way that was familiar. She crawled over Morgana, kissing her again, until her body was flush against Morgana's, unbearably wonderful.

"I'm yours," she whispered into Morgana's mouth, and Morgana sighed into it, accepting, loving, even as Gwen added, "and you're mine," sealing the demand and possession and promise with a kiss.


End file.
